Since July 2006, I have been strangely silent from this blog and I apologize. I don't know exactly why I stopped writing here, but I remember that I sank into the dregs of depression for quite a while.

Have you ever been depressed? I don't mean the garden-variety, feeling-a-little-blue-today depression. What I felt was more like a day after day paralysis of the mind that left me weary, bitter, and hateful of the very core of my being.

I despised being that way and couldn't find the footholds to climb up out of the pit into which I had descended.

Then in the early weeks of October a family who travels on the road to deliver messages to churches visited our church. The mother of the family spoke words over me that drove away the depression. She said that in my heart she saw tiny pebbles of bitterness that had lodged there over time. She told me to sit down and remember each of the times in which someone hurt me, then tell the Lord that I forgave them. As I did so, I felt change in the innermost part of my being. She prophesied that I would have joy springing up from within instead of what I had been living with for months. Who wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that?

Something I have discovered since that time and the thought with which I will end this post: Joy is not an automatic response to the dawn of each new day. Joy is a choice, just as taking on burdens of guilt and bitterness is a choice. Joy is freedom; depression is bondage. Joy can override any financial woe, physical pain, or loss in this world if we let it.

I know this sounds simple. Believe me when I say that I know how difficult it is to respond in a positive way to a message like this. You're probably saying, "Well, that's easy for you. You don't know my life and my struggles."

No, I don't. Have you ever read a list of the top ten stressors which can lead to physical as well as mental distress? In the past fifteen years I have lost a baby, my Dad, my sister-in-law, a close friend, my husband's cousin, two uncles, an aunt. . .do you understand? We have been through financially tight times, I have miscarried and had major surgery to remove an ovary that proved not to be cancerous. We have one vehicle which my husband needs for work, and he works twelve hour shifts. I am pretty much at home most of the time. Do I know what it feels like to be depressed?

But I know the Lord who removed the pebbles from my heart can do the same for you. If you want I will pray for you. Just leave a comment.

Til tomorrow.